What I Really, Really Want
There are, of course, many things I really, really
want. Probably too many to count. But every one
tells me that there is something incredibly satisfying
and productive about setting the things you really,
really want down on the page, especially at a
time when you’re not doing a whole bunch
of writing.
Maybe you’re between contracts. Or you’re
experiencing writers’ block. Or you’re
frantically busy with… moving or family
or the day job or you’re on vacation or
teaching or… Well, you get the picture.
The good news is that – so I’ve heard,
anyway – the solution to getting what you
really, really want is a writerly one. Write it
down, you’ll make it happen. Those of you
who were at Henriette Anns Klausner’s all-day
workshop a few years ago will remember her and
some of you probably still have the book (Write
It Down, Make It Happen: Knowing What You Want,
and Getting It). I do. But how many of us
have read the book or continued to do write it
down?
Not me.
I’m not a goal-oriented person, I admit
it. I’m an “enjoy the day”
kinda gal. I work hard and play hard, but I’m
not a planner. Maybe it was my complicated childhood,
maybe it was the dozens and dozens of times I
moved during the first thirty years of my life,
maybe it’s that old saying, be careful
what you wish for, maybe it’s just
my personality.
I like the serendipity of experiencing life as
it happens. I work very hard at enjoying the moment
because I see too many people working on a plan
for the future and not enjoying the wonderful
things happening in the life they’re living
this very day. But whatever the reason, I’m
not the kind of person who writes things down
to make them happen in the future.
But I’ve been thinking about it. I came
across Henriette’s book the other day while
purging my bookshelves for my move, and it made
me think about the possibilities of writing it
down. Because in a way, that’s what I’ve
been doing this month and finding her book reinforced
the idea for me.
Most of you know that I’m moving and this
means I’ve had to create lists. Lots of
lists. Lists of people to call. Lists of addresses
to change. Lists of things to move, things to
throw away, things to give away. Lists every single
day of things to do. And I’m not a fan of
lists. I hate it if I have a to-do list
and I don’t complete it – it makes
me feel like a failure. So I don’t make
lists unless I have to, unless I have so many
things to do that I know I’ll forget something
important.
Maybe that’s the biggest reason I haven’t
followed Henriette’s great advice about
writing it down and making it happen. Because
what if I don’t do it? Then I feel
like a failure. I know what you’re going
to say – Kate, you’re not a failure
if you don’t finish your list. But
this isn’t about you, this is about me.
This time, I’m going to try it and I’m
going to stick to it. I’m going to start
by reading the book – the whole
book. I’m going to figure out what I want
in the next year, and in the next five years,
and I’m going to write those things down.
I’m going to write down how I’m going
to get there and what I need to do. And then I’m
going to follow the plan, carefully leaving myself
room to change things if and when necessary.
But I’m going to need your help because,
obviously, I can’t do this by myself. It’s
too easy for me to write it down and then conveniently
lose the file or the perfect notebook I’ve
bought for this purpose. Or find it and realize
I’m so far behind I’ll never catch
up and throw it away.
Next time you see me at a meeting, ask me how
the writing it down is going. Send me
the occasional email. Help me keep on track. Because,
though I’m good at a lot of things, this
is not one of them, and I really want to get it
right this time.
Kate Austin (www.kateaustin.ca)
is a multi-published author with Harlequin’s
women’s fiction line – Next. Her eighth
book – Seeing is Believing – was published
in October 2007 and is a RT Reviewers Choice award
nominee. Her next book, The Losers’ Club,
will soon be out in trade paperback. And Dreamer
is now online with Spice Briefs.
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